Chapter 4 - BPOV

“You ungrateful bitch! I can’t believe I was actually starting to feel bad for getting pissed with you about the phone waking me. I came out here to make sure you were alright, and I hear you saying that shit. What the fuck were you thinking?” James seethed.

“You honestly think pansy ass Cullen loves you?” He laughed even harder. “He’s got that hot ass Tanya warming his bed every night. Not even you could turn him away from that.”

I broke down in uncontrollable sobs. James sat next to me and started petting my head like I was a dog.

He sighed. “Bella, Bella, Bella. What am I gonna do with you? I was being patient with all of the damn dreams about your precious Edward. This phone conversation I walked in on was the last straw. I forbid you to talk with him or see him again.”

“You forbid me. Who the hell do you think you are? You may sleep in my bed from time to time, but you are in no position to tell me who I can and can’t talk to.” I was so angry I was shaking. There was no way in hell I would let James come between Edward and me.

“I will talk to you how ever the hell I want! You belong to me! You will not talk to or see Edward again.”

“You’re wrong, James. You are the one I won’t see or talk to again.”

James stared coldly at me and slowly walked toward me. For every step he took toward me, I took one back until he had me trapped against the wall. He slammed his fist into the wall next to my head.

“What the hell are you doing?” I screamed.

“You belong to me, not him,” he said through gritted teeth. “You will not get on that plane in the morning.”

I started hitting James in the chest. There was no way he was keeping from my mom. “I will be on that plane tomorrow, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs, and tears were streaming down my face as I continued to hit James in the chest with all my strength.

James yanked my right wrist away from his chest and pinned it above my head while he yanked my hair with his other hand. I cried out in pain.

“You listen to me, little girl. You won’t be leaving this apartment anytime soon. I hope you said your goodbyes to your daddy while you were on the phone with your mom. You will never see Forks, Washington ever again.” He yanked my hair again exposing my throat to him. He licked a slimy trail from the juncture of my neck and shoulder to my ear and bit down on my earlobe.

I let out the loudest scream I could when his teeth bit into me. He just laughed. “Oh, my Bella. I do love it when you fight. It turns me on even more.” I spit in his face, and he slapped me. I could feel the left side of my face throbbing from the impact.

“James, please stop.”

“Beg, baby,” he whispered in a husky voice. He started rubbing his erection on my leg. “Damn, I should have tried this sooner. I’ve never been so turned on in my life.”

I broke out in uncontrollable sobs. I knew James had changed from the man I first met, but I never thought he was capable of abuse. Not only had he struck me, but now he was going to violate me sexually. The bile rose slowly up my throat, and I started gagging on it.

“Oh, I’ll give you something to gag on, baby.” James started to lower his pajama pants when there was loud banging on my door. James put his hand over my mouth. “You will not make a sound, bitch, or you will know what my fist feels like.”

“This is the New York Police Department. Open up.” James stared coldly into my eyes. I didn’t know who I was looking at anymore.

“If you don’t open up, we will force our way in.” James groaned.

“Not a word or you’ll regret it, you bitch.” I nodded my head. He let me go and walked to the door only opening it a crack.

“Evening, officers. What can I help you with?” James was laying on the charm.

“We’ve had several complaints about a domestic dispute in this apartment. The neighbors are worried about a Ms. Swan. We need to speak with her, please.”

“Ms. Swan can’t come to the door right now. She was just informed that her father was killed in the line of duty back home. She’s a bit distraught right now.” I started to panic. I thought I was saved when the police knocked on the door.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we have to speak with Ms. Swan before we can leave. It’s standard procedure on this type of call.”

“Like I said, she’s very upset because of the news of her father’s death. She’s really not up for company.” I could hear the irritation in James’s voice growing.

“I already told you that we can’t leave until we speak with Ms. Swan. If you don’t let us in and speak with her, then I will haul you in for obstruction of justice.”

“Fine.” James opened the door and ushered the officers into the apartment. I was crouched in the corner holding my knees to my chest.

“Ms. Swan, I’m Officer Davis and this is my partner Officer Smith. I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your father.” I sniffled.

Officer Davis crouched in front of me and raised his hand toward my face. I flinched at the action. “Ms. Swan, please look at me.” I shook my head no. “Please, Ms. Swan. I won’t hurt you.” I slowly lifted my head and looked at Officer Davis. He shook his head minutely. “Ms. Swan, did this man strike you?” My eyes grew wide, and I started shaking my head furiously.

“I told you that she lost her father tonight. She’s upset,” James seethed.

“Sir, I need you to have a seat until we’ve finished talking with Ms. Swan.” Officer Smith slowly moved his hand to the butt of his gun.

“You are finished talking with Ms. Swan. She has an early flight tomorrow and needs to get some rest.” James clenched his fists until his knuckles were white.

“Sir, I won’t ask you again to have a seat and be quiet.” Officer Smith was inching closer to James.

“You cannot come barging into my home and order me to sit down and be quiet.” James shoved Officer Smith. Officer Smith quickly grabbed James hand and twisted it behind his back.

“Sir, you just assaulted an officer. You will be spending the rest of the night downtown in lock up. After we talk with Ms. Swan, we might be adding assault and battery to the charges.”

“You son of a bitch! You can’t do this to me. You are in my home, badgering me. I’ll sue you for false arrest and wrongful imprisonment.” Officer Smith cuffed James, read him his rights, and escorted him out of my apartment.

“He’s wrong you know.” Officer Davis gave me a curious look. “This isn’t his home. I live here alone.”

Officer Davis nodded his head and started taking notes in his little notepad. “Ms. Swan, could you please tell me what happened tonight?”

I hesitated for a moment when I thought about how James could hurt me if I told the police what happened. I finally decided I couldn’t live in fear of James any longer. If necessary, I wouldn’t return to New York. I took a deep breath and told Officer Davis everything that happened tonight. He assured me that James wouldn’t bother me again.

I spent the rest of the night at the police station giving my statement. They suggested I file a restraining order and change my locks. I agreed and headed home. I had just enough time left to pack and rush to the airport. I finally arrived at the gate when they made the final boarding call for my flight. I let out a sigh of relief when I settled in my seat and they sealed the doors for take-off.

Exhaustion finally caught up with me, and I fell into a fitful sleep on the plane. I had dreams of James attacking me and woke up screaming a few times. The flight attendants were worried about me, and the bruise that was starting to form on my cheek only increased their worry. I was offered Tylenol, an icepack, and a tiny bottle of vodka. I gladly accepted all three. I knew it wasn’t good to mix the medication with the alcohol, so I put the Tylenol in my purse for later.

After giving up on sleeping during the flight I stared out the window and my thoughts drifted to Edward. I remembered the Christmas two years ago when I first met Tanya. I’d hated the fact that I actually liked her. I wanted to hate the woman who won Edward’s heart. I should’ve known she would have to be a sweetheart to snag Edward.


Christmas 2007

James and I had just arrived at Rose and Emmett’s new townhome. They were so excited to finally own their first home. Alice had the bright idea to get everyone together to celebrate Christmas and the happy couple’s new home at the same time. I was nervous because Edward was going to be there.

I hadn’t spoken to him since the disaster at Alice and Jasper’s reception. I’d heard from Alice and Rose that he was dating a woman named Tanya and she would be with him. I wasn’t sure if my heart could take seeing him with another woman.

James and I were about thirty minutes late, so I was pretty sure everyone would already be there. I latched onto James’s arm with all my strength and took a deep breath.

“Hey, babe, what’s got you so tense? It feels like you’re about to rip my arm out of socket.”

“Sorry. Alice said that Edward would be here and I’m just worried about what will happen after the way he acted at her reception.”

“I could care less what that asshole has to say. I refuse to let him ruin today for you like he did Alice’s reception.” James actually growled.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Rose threw the door open and wrapped her arms around me. “Merry Christmas, Bella. I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Merry Christmas, Rose.” Rose just glared at James and opened the door to let us in. After Alice’s wedding, James had started being more controlling of what I did and kept me from spending so much time with Alice and Rose. Both Rose and Alice were continually telling me it was time to let James go and enjoy the single life for a while. I always insisted that James loved me and just wanted to spend time with me.

My self esteem took a major blow when I walked into the living room and saw a gorgeous blond wrapped around Edward. I always knew he could do better than me. The blond attached to his side was proof of that. Edward’s beautiful green eyes met mine, and I couldn’t help but smile. James noticed the exchange between Edward and me. He tightened his grip on my waist to the point that I would have bruises in the morning. I winced, and Edward shot a hateful glare at James.

The tension in the room was becoming unbearable, so I took the next step and introduced myself and James to the blond attached to Edward.

I extended my hand to her. “Hi, I’m Bella and this is James.”

She grabbed my hand and introduced herself as Tanya, Edward’s girlfriend. I couldn’t help but wince when she said she was his girlfriend. The pain that shot through my heart was as painful as the day I watched his Volvo disappear.

Edward noticed my discomfort and gave me an apologetic look. I took a deep breath and gave him a weak smile in return.

We spent the rest of the evening talking about our careers, how we met our significant others, and what our plans were for the future. Alice and Jasper were planning on starting a family within the next few years. Rose and Emmett announced their engagement but weren’t planning on actually following through with wedding plans for another five years. Edward and Tanya didn’t want to think about their future. Their relationship was still new and nowhere near ready for that kind of talk or commitment.

I was ready to shoot down any thoughts of James and I planning an engagement or wedding when James spoke up and totally pissed me off.

“Bella and I would like to get married soon and start a family right away. We want to have at least six kids. Nothing makes me happier than the thought of my Bella walking around with my child growing inside her.”

I stared icily at him. “Bella, I thought you only wanted two kids at the most,” Edward said.

“I do only want two kids. I have no immediate plans to marry anyone or have children with anyone.” I stormed out of the room and outside. I took a seat on the front stoop and let my tears of frustration flow freely.

I heard someone join me outside but refused to look up and acknowledge who it was

“Bella, are you okay?” Edward’s velvety voice calmed me instantly.

I quickly wiped away my tears and looked up into his gorgeous eyes. “I’m fine, Edward. Just a little frustrated at James.”

Edward sat next to me and started rubbing my back. “I think he meant well, Bella. It seemed like he just wanted to make sure I knew that you were with him and not me. Don’t be too hard on him.”

I knew Edward was right. I nodded my head and took in a shuddering breath. “I know you’re right. It just frustrates me when he starts making plans for my life without talking to me about it.” Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I rested my head against his shoulder. “I really like Tanya. I wanted to hate her, but it’s hard to. She’s a great woman, Edward. You’re very lucky you found her.”

“Thanks, Bella. I guess if I can’t have you, she’ll do.” He gave me a sad smile. I couldn’t tell if he was sincere or joking with me.

I squeezed his knee and stood up. “Let’s head back inside before James starts to worry.”

The sound of the captain announcing our arrival at SeaTac airport brought me out of my memories. I dried the tears my memories had caused and winced at the pain from James’s abuse. Mom was not going to be happy when she saw my face.

The flight to Port Angeles was uneventful. The flight attendants once again paid special attention to me thanks to James’s parting gift on my face. I rushed through the crowd and claimed my luggage. I couldn’t wait to see my mom. I started to panic when I couldn’t find my mother waiting for me. I saw a short man dressed in a police uniform holding a cardboard sign that said I. Swan. He was obviously one of my father’s deputies.

“I’m Isabella Swan.”

“Ms. Swan. I’m very sorry for you loss. The Chief was well liked by all the guys.”

“Thanks.”

The drive to Forks seemed to drag forever. The last time I remembered riding from Port Angeles to Forks in a police cruiser was the summer before my senior year in high school. I’d just returned from a trip to visit my grandma Marie, and my father had picked me up at the airport. I couldn’t hold the tears back any more. That memory was all it took to have me bawling uncontrollably. I cried the entire ride home.

My mom threw open the door the minute we turned into the driveway. “Bella,” she yelled and ran to the car to pull me out.

“Oh, baby! What happened to your face?”

“James did it,” I sniffed.

“Bella, you can’t go back to him.” She wrapped her arms around me and held me tight.

“Don’t worry, Mom. He’s in jail right now. I spent a lot of time at the police station giving my statement and pressing charges last night. I almost missed my flight.” Mom led me into the house, and the officer dropped my bags off inside the door.

I told Mom all about what happened with James and how this had been building the past few years. We talked about Dad and all of our good memories. We cried many tears and shared a few laughs over the funnier memories. I started yawning about an hour into our conversation, and Mom insisted I go to my room and get some sleep. I agreed and stumbled up the stairs to my room. I shed my jeans and bra and crawled into bed and drifted off to sleep.

James slammed me against the wall and started running his hands up my body. I felt the bile rising in my throat but swallowed it down. Vomiting on him would only cause him to hurt me more.

“Please, stop, James.” I started crying and he slammed my head into the wall.

“You will shut your mouth and take everything I give you. You are MINE!”

James started unbuckling his belt and I screamed as loud as I could.

I jumped up and tried to scream, but nothing would come out. I looked around panicked. >I wasn’t sure where I was. As my eyes adjusted to the dark room, I finally recognized that I was in my room at my parents’ house. I curled up in a ball and stared at the ceiling. The events of my father’s death and James’s attack replayed in my head.

I lay there for a few hours crying before the tears finally stopped. I heard a faint knocking and a muffled voice at my door but refused to acknowledge it. I heard the door creak open and quietly close. I felt the bed dip down with the weight of someone sitting next to me. My heart skipped a beat when I felt his hands on my hair and heard his velvety voice. “Baby.”

I looked into Edward’s wonderful green eyes and jumped into his arms. “Oh, Edward. I can’t believe he’s gone,” I sobbed. Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap.

“Shh, baby. I know. I can’t believe it either. I keep waiting for him to open your door and tell me to keep my hands in a respectable place.” I laughed.

“Thank you for coming here.”

“There’s no need to thank me. Nothing could’ve kept me away from Forks.”

“Is Tanya with you?” I asked hesitantly.

“No. Tanya moved out last night,” he whispered. Guilt consumed me.

“I’m so sorry, Edward. It’s all my fault. I should’ve never called you.” I couldn’t control the sobbing that started again.

Edward pulled back and stared into my eyes. There would be no hiding what James had done to me. He gently stroked my cheek. “Baby, what happened?”

“I’ve messed up everyone’s lives by calling you. You and Tanya broke up. James went crazy and attacked me. I can’t seem to do anything right.”

Edward tensed and I couldn’t stop the fear I felt when I saw his fists clench. I took a deep breath and cupped his cheek. “Edward, please don’t worry about it.”

“What do you mean don’t worry about it? There is no reason for him to ever lay a hand on you,” he seethed.

I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. “He’s in jail,” I whispered.

“Good. That is where the bastard belongs.” I nodded and laid my head on Edward’s shoulder

“I’m glad you called me. I wouldn’t miss being here with you for anything. It was time for us to part ways. I had never been truly happy with Tanya and that wasn’t fair to her. Right now, I’ve got the only person who can truly make me happy wrapped in my arms.”

I tightened her hold on him. “Edward, please don’t ever let me go.”

“Never again,” he said.

He lay back on my bed and pulled me into the safety and comfort of his arms. I drifted off to the peaceful oblivion of sleep knowing that Edward's presence would fight off any bad dreams.