Chapter 5 - EPOV

The soft light filtering through the window woke me from the best sleep I’d had in five years. The last time I’d slept that peacefully, Bella had been in my arms. I opened my eyes to see the most beautiful brown eyes staring back at me.

“Morning, beautiful,” I said as I gently stroked her cheek. Bella blushed and buried her face into my chest. I relished the feel of her in my arms.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“Yes. Thank you so much for being here, Edward.”

I lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “Please don’t hide your beautiful face from me, baby. I’ve been without it for too long. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” Afraid to touch her bruised cheek, I gently placed a kiss on her forehead.

“Edward, you should be in Dallas trying to fix things with Tanya.” Tears started to fill her eyes.

“Bella, there is nothing to be fixed with Tanya. She and I are over and never will be together again.”

“Why not? I know how much she loves you.”

“The problem was never her love for me. Bella, I was never fully committed to her. My heart has and always will belong to you. It wasn’t fair to her. She kept hoping that one day I could get over you and return her love. After over hearing us on the phone the other night, she realized that she was fighting a losing battle.”

Bella took in a shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry, Edward. I’m sure it hurt to lose her.”

I pulled Bella into a tight embrace. “I should’ve let Tanya go a long time ago. I was only being selfish hanging on to her. She helped me cope with the hurt and loneliness of not having you in my life. Our relationship was never going to develop into a lifelong commitment. My only regret is how much I hurt Tanya. She deserves to find a man that will worship her.”

“Yes, she does. I really like Tanya. I hope she finds happiness and the two of you can still be friends.”

“Me too, baby. Me too.” I kissed the top of her head and took a deep breath. It was time to discuss James. “Bella, has James hit you before?”

Bella tensed. “No,” she whispered.

I pulled back and looked directly into her eyes. “That didn’t sound very convincing. Want to try that again?”

Tears slowly started to fall from her eyes. “That was the first time he actually hit me. He’s shoved me around before, squeezed my arm a little too tight a few times, and he yelled at me a lot. If he’d hit me before this, I’d have left him then.”

I rubbed my thumb across her bruised cheek. “Baby, all of the behavior from him was unacceptable and abuse. You never should be treated that way. How long has he been in jail?”

“He was arrested a few hours after I got off the phone with you. Some neighbors called the police because of the yelling coming from my apartment.”

Bella spent the next hour telling me about the incident with James and how the police showed up before he had the chance to rape her. She argued with me that it wouldn’t have been rape because he was her boyfriend and they had been in a sexual relationship for a few years. I finally got her to realize any forced sexual activity she didn’t want was rape. I wanted to fly to New York right away and kill James. I didn’t understand how he could hurt such a precious angel like Bella. I was happy to hear that Bella had pressed charges on him and that he was also being charged with assaulting a police officer. With any luck he would be in jail for a few years.

Renee interrupted us before I could tell Bella about my plans to hopefully move to New York. We spent the rest of the day making funeral arrangements for Charlie. That was one of the hardest days of my life. I wanted to break down and cry for the loss of a man who was like a father to me, but I couldn’t. I had to be strong for both Bella and Renee. I had to make decisions when they were too overcome with their grief and tears to speak.

The day’s events had left me both mentally and physically exhausted. I was thankful a few neighbors had brought over some casseroles. I was able to heat all of us some dinner without bothering Bella or Renee. They didn’t want to eat but took a few bites to appease me. They would need their strength to survive the next few days. Tomorrow night was the visitation and the next day was the funeral.

Bella and Renee spent the next day sorting through Charlie’s belongings. Renee packed a box for Bella to take wither her to New York. She’d given her a few of Charlie’s favorite flannel shirts, his favorite books, and his badge. As a child, Bella always loved it when Charlie would pin it to her shirt when he got home after a shift.

Once we had Bella’s box sealed and ready to ship to New York, Renee grabbed my hand and pulled me to her dresser.

“Edward, you were the son Charlie never had. Even after you and Bella broke up, he kept in contact with Carlisle to see how you were doing. He was so proud of you and how you excelled in your career.” Fresh tears started to trail down Renee’s cheeks. Her revelation of Charlie’s pride and love for me combined with her tears were my undoing. The flood gates opened, and I started openly weeping for the loss of this wonderful man.

Bella and Renee both wrapped their arms around me. We stood there holding on to one another for comfort and cried for the father and husband we had lost. After about thirty minutes, Renee wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry. I keep breaking down.”

“Renee, don’t apologize for your grief. You lost your soul mate. You owe no one any apologies.”

“I guess you two would understand that pain better than most people.” Renee got a determined look on her face. “It was always Charlie’s biggest hope that situations would change and the two of you would find your way back to each other. You two are soul mates and belong together. Please, for Charlie, for me, and most importantly for your happiness, work this mess out. You’ve already lost five years together. Don’t lose anymore. Before you know it, it will be too late and you won’t have any time left together.”

I looked over at Bella and was taken aback by the love radiating from her face. Now was the time to tell her about my plans for New York. I excused us from Renee and pulled Bella into her room.

“Bella, I need to talk to you about something important.” A look of fear shot across Bella’s face. I lead her to the bed and grabbed her hands as I sat next to her. “I promise its nothing bad.” Bella nodded her head for me to continue.

“After Tanya left I decide that I can’t live without you. I searched the EDS employee website and found a posting that the position I currently hold had just become available in the Manhattan office. It had been posted only a few hours earlier. I quickly put in my bid for it and emailed my supervisor to let him know what I was doing. I also looked online for apartments. Bella, it’s time for us to finally be together again. I can’t live without you any longer. I love you and don’t want to be without you ever again.” Bella threw her arms around my neck and attacked my lips. It only took a second for the surprise of her action to set in before I started to return her kiss. Our lips moved together at a frantic pace. It felt so good to kiss her passionately again.

“Hey, Bella, would you…oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll leave you two alone.” I looked up to see an extremely red-faced Renee retreating out of Bella’s room.

“Edward, would you really move to New York to be with me?”

“I would go to the ends of the earth for you, baby. I love you and refuse to live without you. If this position doesn’t come through, I’ll start looking for a job with a new company.”

Bella gasped. “You can’t do that. You’ve got a wonderful job. You don’t need to give that up.”

“I’d happily give up any job to be with you. I just wish I’d realized that five years ago.” Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and sobbed into my chest. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t upset me. I’ve dreamt of you showing up at my door and pulling me into your arms and declaring your love for me for the past five years. I can’t believe it’s actually happening.”

Bella and I looked up when there was a light knock on her door. “I hate to interrupt, but we need to leave for the visitation in an hour.” Renee gave us a sad smile and left the room.

“Let’s talk some more about our future together in New York when we get home tonight.” Bella nodded her head, and we got ready to go to the funeral home.

That night was extremely hard for Renee and Bella. The entire town of Forks showed up to pay their respects to Charlie. He truly was a beloved member of the community. Although I didn’t know a lot of the people who showed up, it amazed me that they seemed to know exactly who I was.

A tiny older woman with bright red hair piled on top of her head pulled me down into a hug. “Son, I’m so glad you could be here. Charlie was real proud of you.”

“Thank you, ma’am. Nothing would’ve kept me from being here.”

“I can guarantee you he is smiling down from heaven right now seeing you and Isabella together.” She winked at me, patted my cheek, and walked over to Renee.

“What was that all about?”

“I honestly have no clue. I’m so lost tonight. Everyone seems to know exactly who I am.”

A man wearing a Forks Police Department uniform stepped up to Bella and gave her a hug. “Charlie talked about you about as much as he talked about Bella,” he told me. “He insisted that one day you’d officially be his son when you two got married.”

“Mark, did Dad talk about Edward a lot? Everyone knows exactly who he is.”

“Sweetheart, Charlie talked about you and Edward constantly. He had a picture of the two of you together on his desk. He’d tell anyone that would listen all about what the two of you were up to.”

I was in shock the rest of the evening. I never knew Charlie still held out hope for Bella and me. I thought for sure that he wanted to kill me for the way I broke his daughter’s heart. By the end of the night I felt extremely guilty that I hadn’t kept in touch with Charlie.

When we finally made it back to the house, I was extremely tense. I couldn’t get past the guilt I felt. Charlie was never anything but good to me, and I just cut him out of my life when I drove away from Bella five years ago. I jumped when I felt Bella’s hand on my shoulder.

“Edward, what’s wrong?”

“Bella, I never talked to Charlie after we broke up. He was like a father to me, and I just blew him off after we broke up. How could I do that to him? How could he still be so proud of me and sing my praises all over town?” I dropped my head into my hands and just sobbed.


Bella wrapped her arms around me. “Edward, please stop beating yourself up over this. Charlie wouldn’t stand for it. If he were here now I’m sure he’d tell you he’s just glad you finally got your head out of your ass,” she said, imitating Charlie’s voice.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her impression of Charlie. It was spot on and exactly what I needed to pull me out of my funk. “Thank you, Bella. You always know how to make me feel better.” We drifted to sleep that night wrapped in each other’s arms knowing that Charlie was smiling down on us from heaven.

The small church in Forks was packed for Charlie’s funeral. I recognized a lot of faces from the visitation but was surprised at the number of new people in attendance. Renee said most of the people I didn’t recognize were from neighboring towns. The fire marshal graciously overlooked the fact that the building exceeded maximum capacity.

Saying goodbye to Charlie was hard enough on its own, but witnessing the pain and loss Bella was going through was ten times worse. There was no way I could make this better for her. She held it together through the main service but fell to pieces at the grave side service. Seeing her father’s coffin above the hole in the ground signified to her that he was truly gone and never coming back. Bella and Renee wrapped their arms around each other’s waists and started to head to the car.

“Baby, I need just a minute. I’ll me you two back at the car.” She simply nodded and started walking toward the car.

The cemetery was now empty except for the workers waiting to lower Charlie into the ground and replace the dirt. Thankfully they stayed back and gave me my time to say goodbye. I walked up to the coffin and placed my hand on the top. I couldn’t stop the tears from pouring down my cheeks.

“Charlie, I’m so sorry for all of the stupid decisions and mistakes I’ve made these past five years. I never meant to hurt Bella or you. I loved you like a father and regret that I never kept in touch with you. I didn’t even get the chance to tell you what you truly meant to me. I know you always wanted Bella and me to get married, and I totally screwed that up, but I’m working on making that right. I refuse to let Bella slip through my hands again. If this all works out, I will ask Bella to be my wife. I know you aren’t here to answer but it feels wrong not asking you. May I please have your permission to ask for Bella’s hand in marriage?” I started sobbing uncontrollably once I that question passed through my lips.

My head snapped up when I felt a timid hand on my shoulder. “Edward, Charlie would love for you to ask Bella to marry you. Nothing would’ve made him happier.” Renee gently wiped the tears from my face. “Edward, he wouldn’t want you to feel guilty for the past five years. He would want you to learn from those mistakes and move on with your life. Please leave that guilt here and let it get buried with Charlie.”

“You’re right. I’ll do my best to get past the guilt.” Renee and I said another quick goodbye to Charlie and headed back to the car.

We spent the rest of the afternoon packing the rest of Charlie’s things. Renee handed me a box containing Charlie’s police academy t-shirts, a few pictures of us together, and his prized baseball card collection. I tried to refuse, but Renee wouldn’t hear it. She insisted it was Charlie’s wish for me to have these items. I relented and thanked her.

We were settling in for dinner when my phone started ringing. I was surprised to see my work number pop up. They knew I’d be out the entire week for the funeral. I hesitantly answered the phone.

“This is Edward.”

“Hey, Edward, it’s Jay. I’m sorry to bother you, but I thought you’d want to hear this as soon as possible.”

“Not a problem. What’s going on?”

“Well, you won the bid for the position in the Manhattan office. They’ll be ready for you in two weeks. You can stay in a corporate apartment until you can find your own place.”

I had totally forgotten about the transfer to New York. “That’s the best news I’ve had all day. Thanks so much for calling me.”

“Well, your email made it sound like this was an important move for you. I’m sad to see you leave, but I wouldn’t dream of keeping you here when you clearly want to be elsewhere. Thanks so much for being a great worker. Let me know if you need anything. I’m always here for you.”

“Thanks, Jay. I really appreciate this.” I hit the end button and smiled. I couldn’t wait to tell Bella, and I ran into her room.

“Edward, where’s the fire?”

“I’ve got the best news, baby. I got the job in New York. I start in two weeks. They’re going to set me up in a corporate apartment until I find a place.” I pulled Bella into my arms and twirled in a circle.

“That’s great, Edward. I can’t believe we’re finally going to be together. It seems so surreal. I’ve wanted this for the last five years.” Bella rested her head on my chest.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry for everything. I promise to never be that stupid again.”

“Edward, I know it’s been a while since we last shared an apartment, but would you like to move in with me?” Bella was biting her bottom lip.

“Of course I’ll move in with you, baby. I’m just so happy you still want me around.”

“I’ll always want you, Edward. Please, don’t ever forget that.”

I cupped her face. “Never,” I whispered before I gently kissed her lips, reveling in the feeling of Euphoria. As soon as I could get my grandmother’s ring from my mother I would ask Bella to be my wife. There was nothing I wanted more than spending the rest of my life kissing the lips of an angel like Bella.

Chapter 3 - EPOV

“Edward, what’s wrong?”

“Baby, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow. I promise.”

“Thank you, Edward,” Bella sighed.

“I love you, Bella,” I whispered.

“I love you too,” she said before ending the call.

I closed my phone and dropped my head to my hands. How long had Tanya been standing there? I panicked and ran to my bedroom door only to find it locked. I started banging on the door.

“Tanya, open the door.” She didn’t respond. I slid to the floor and dropped my head into my hands. I heard the faint sounds of doors and drawers opening and closing. A strangled sob would make its way through the door every now and then. Twenty minutes later the door opened, and Tanya walked out carrying her suitcase and a box.

I got up and started to apologize, but Tanya cut me off. “I don’t want to hear your apologies or excuses, Edward,” she sighed and turned her back to me. I placed my hands on her shoulders and she stiffened. “Edward, you have never said you love me or called me baby or any other term of endearment. You’ve always called me Tanya.” She drew in a shuddering breath and barely whispered, “Was I just a distraction for you?” Her tears started up full force again.

“Tanya, I’m so sorry. I care very deeply for you, but what we have is the best I have to offer.” I felt her shoulders slump at my words.

“Edward, I love you with all my heart. It killed me to hear you tell her that you would love her forever while you have never been able to tell me that you love me. For the past two years I have been the one warming your bed at night and giving you all of my love and support. Where has she been? She’s been in New York living her life without you. She hasn’t given you a second thought. Bella lives her happy little life with her James not giving you a second thought, while you pine away down here for a woman you can’t have.”

“Get out,” I sneered.

“Don’t worry, Edward. I can’t stay here when you clearly want to be somewhere else, with someone else. Hearing you tell Bella that you love her hurt me more than anything you could’ve done. I suggest you think long and hard before you get involved with anyone else. Until you let Bella go, you will never have a successful relationship.”

Tanya gave me one last disgusted look and walked out of my life. I should’ve been devastated, but I only felt relief. I had been living a lie with Tanya for the last two years. I knew the only reason I continued to lead her on was because she helped me not think about Bella.

Even though I was relieved, I felt like a failure. I had ruined yet another relationship. Honestly, how could I destroy something that never really had a chance to be? Tanya was right. I could never have a relationship with anyone as long as I still loved Bella. There was no way I could ever give my heart fully to someone else. Bella was my soul-mate, and I needed to do whatever I could to get her back.

I didn’t go back to sleep that night. The first flight I could get to Seattle the next day was at nine in the morning. Including the short flight to Port Angeles and the drive to Forks, I would be by Bella’s side by two in the afternoon. She was devastated by the loss of her father, and that asshole James only made that situation worse. I had to get to her and prove to her that I still loved her and would do anything to get us back together.

After I had packed what I would need for the trip to Forks, I searched the EDS website looking for any openings in the New York area. The Manhattan office had just posted the position that I currently held in Dallas. I couldn’t believe it. It had to be a sign that I was meant to get back together with Bella. I sent in my bid for the position and emailed my supervisor, Jay. I let him know that I was taking bereavement leave and about my bid to the New York office. Jay was a stand up guy, so I hoped he would support me in the move and put in a good word for me in New York.

I spent the rest of the morning searching online for an apartment near the New York office. I knew I was getting ahead of myself, but I had nervous energy and a few hours to kill before I needed to leave for the airport. There were quite a few nice places available within a 15 block radius of the office.

***

The drive to the airport was brutal during rush hour traffic. It amazed me how many people were traveling to work at five in the morning. After an hour of stop and go traffic, I made it to the airport. People may have been crowding the highways, but the airport was blissfully empty. I made it through security with no problems and had time to enjoy a cup of coffee while I waited for my plane to board. I was lost in thoughts of Bella when the announcement that my flight was boarding startled me. I grabbed my carry on and quickly made my way to the plane. I breathed a sigh of relief when I settled into my seat and realized there were only a few more hours until I could pull Bella into my arms.

I spent the entire flight to Seattle thinking of Bella and regretting the five years we lost together. We could’ve survived a long distance relationship. I spent my first two years in Dallas missing her. If we had stayed in a relationship, those years wouldn’t have been miserable. I would’ve had her phone calls and web cam dates to get me through the days without her. I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t even tried to make it work.

Would that have been enough for Bella? She was the one that showed up to Alice and Jasper’s wedding with him only two years after I had left. I was miserable and lonely those first two years. I was excited for the wedding because I would be able to see Bella again. I couldn’t wait to wrap my arms around her and let her know how much I missed her and how miserable I had been without her. Those plans were shattered when Bella walked in with James holding onto her possessively. I couldn’t help but think that she was obviously getting on with her life just fine without me. That was the worst weekend of my life. Not only did I have to watch James manhandle Bella, but Bella and I had the worst fight we’d ever had.

Three Years Earlier

Bella looked amazing in her short blue strapless bridesmaid dress. I couldn’t take my eyes off her through the entire ceremony. I caught her sneaking glances at me several times. Seeing her again just strengthened my resolve. There was no way I would leave without making her mine again.

I was so lost in Bella that I missed the entire ceremony. I didn’t realize it was over until the audience cheered when Alice and Jasper kissed. I quickly made my way to the reception to wait for the wedding party to appear. I wasn’t going to waste anymore time. The minute Bella walked into the room I would make my way to her and let her know everything I was feeling and how much I missed her. I was on cloud nine just thinking about the sweet reunion with my love. The feeling of euphoria was destroyed the minute she walked in the room tucked tightly into another man’s side.

My heart broke into a thousand pieces when I saw her look up at him and give him a shy smile. That was when I realized that I had waited too long. I had lost her. My knees started shaking and I was gasping for breath. My world was starting to fade when Bella put her hand on my shoulder.

“Edward, what’s wrong?” God, it was so good to hear her say my name.

“Sorry, I haven’t eaten all day and I think it’s finally getting to me,” I lied. I made my way to my assigned seat and cringed when I saw Bella was seated at the same table. This was going to be a long reception.

I spent the first hour catching up with Emmett and Jasper and getting completely shit-faced. I never quite understood why people thought an open bar was a good idea at a wedding reception. Once dinner was finished, Alice and Jasper shared their first dance as husband and wife while I threw back another two shots of Jack. The pain of seeing Bella with another man was finally starting to dull. I looked around the room and two things caught my attention. First, I saw Bella dancing with him. Second I saw a cute brunette eyeing me from across the room. I’d had enough of seeing Bella happy with that guy, so I decided to get to know the cute brunette.

I staggered my way across the room and practically fell into the poor girl. “Hey, gorgeous.”

She was stunned by my forwardness but quickly recovered. “Hey yourself, handsome,” she said, smirking.

“Wanna dance?” I slurred.

She wrapped her arm around mine and led me to the dance floor. A slow song started playing and I had to rely on the girl to help me stay on my feet. I was all over her trying to keep my balance. I looked up to see Bella’s beautiful brown eyes staring at me in complete pain. I couldn’t understand why she was hurting. She was the one who showed up with the tool. I wrapped my arms around the brunette tighter, pulling her closer to me. I lowered my lips to her neck and started placing light kisses up to her ear. She giggled and ran her hands down my back and grabbed my ass. Bella’s eyes started to tear up and she ran off the dance floor into the bathroom with Rose and Alice right behind her.

I felt like a total ass. I hadn’t gone there to ruin Alice and Jasper’s wedding. Of course, my original plan was shot to hell when Bella brought a date. I unwrapped my arms from the brunette and excused myself. I was heading toward the bathroom Bella disappeared into when Emmett and Jasper stopped me.

“Dude, I don’t know what the hell you did to her, but you need to back off.” Emmett grabbed my shoulder to stop me.

“All I did was dance with a girl. Is that so wrong? She’s here with someone, why can’t I enjoy myself?” I swayed as I spoke.

“Edward, you’re drunk. I think you need to sit down and have a cup of coffee,” Jasper said, shaking his head.

At that moment Bella walked out of the bathroom. Her eyes were puffy and red. She looked at me with a murderous glare. I cringed when we made eye contact. She stomped her way to where I was sitting.

“Edward, can I please have a word with you?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Outside. Now,” she seethed.

I rolled my eyes and staggered my way out of the ballroom. I heard the door close behind me and I turned to see an irate Bella.

“What the hell is your problem, Edward?!”

“What is my problem?” I laughed.

“Yes. You are making a complete fool of yourself in there. You are drunk and pawing that poor girl.”

“Trust me, she wasn’t complaining. I seem to remember a time when you liked my touches.”

She narrowed her eyes at me and slapped me across the face. I started laughing. “You were never this feisty before, Bella. I think I like it. It’s really turning me on.” I staggered toward her and she stepped back until I had her pinned against the wall. I dragged my hand up her arm, across her shoulder, and finally cupped her neck. “Bella, you used to love it when I’d trail kisses from your neck to your ear.” I lowered my lips to her neck and started to demonstrate for her when she shoved me away. I stumbled back and fell onto a bench.

“Edward, what the hell happened to you?”

I laughed humorlessly. “What happened to me?” I scoffed. “Let me see. I spent the last two years miserable and lonely. I missed the love of my life. I kept beating myself up for pushing her to take a job I knew would tear us apart. I came to my friend’s wedding hoping to fix the shit storm I caused only to find the love of my life happily hanging on the arm of some douche. Basically my heart was broken for the last two years, but tonight, sweetheart, you destroyed it.”

Bella dropped her head and took in a shuddering breath. “Edwa-”

I stopped her before she could finish what she was going to say. “Don’t, Bella. I can’t take your pity. Just go back to the douche. I’ll just go back to my life and forget I ever knew you.” I turned and walked away from the only woman I would ever love.

My life was changed that trip, but not the way I’d hoped. I had planned on coming home and having a relationship with Bella. I hadn’t planned on totally destroying any relationship we had left. I moped around and berated myself for a week before I got the nerve up to apologize to Bella. She of course refused to answer my calls, so I had to leave my apology on her voice mail. She never returned my calls, but she did send me an email. She told me that she was very sorry for the fight we had and that she hoped I had a nice life.

I was a miserable bastard the next three months until I met Tanya. She brought me out of my funk and helped me cope without Bella in my life. Unfortunately for Tanya, her presence was only suppressing my feelings for Bella. She kept my mind occupied so I didn’t think about Bella or how much I missed her. I knew seeing me with Tanya really bothered Bella, but she acted like an adult and graciously welcomed Tanya to our circle of friends.

After Bella met Tanya, we started sending emails again. I was happy knowing what Bella was doing. We would call every few months and talk for a few hours. Those conversations always left me depressed. I would think about how much I missed her and have a nice time with my buddy Jack Daniels. Tanya never could figure out what the reason was behind my occasional drinking binge. I would never tell her.

I felt a hand gently shake my shoulder. “Sir, we’ve arrived.” The flight attendant smiled seductively at me.

“Sorry, I was lost in my thoughts.”

“That’s quite alright, sir,” she purred. I quickly gathered my things and exited the plane before she could give me her phone number.

I picked up my rental and flew from Port Angeles to Forks. I couldn’t wait to see Bella and pull her into my arms. I still couldn’t believe James was such a cold-hearted bastard. I hoped she made it out of New York without him being too much of an asshole to her.

I finally pulled into her parent’s driveway and breathed a sigh of relief. I quickly made my way to the door and knocked. Renee slowly opened the door and threw her arms around me the moment her eyes settled on my face.

“Oh, Edward. You don’t know how much it means to me that you came.”

I threw my arms around Renee and returned her embrace. “I’m so sorry about Charlie. Did Bella make it here alright?”

Renee sniffed. “Yeah. She’s up in her room. Please come in.” Renee opened the door wide and motioned me in. I’d only been in this house a few times, but it felt like I was coming home. Renee and Charlie had always made me feel so welcome.

“Do you have a hotel room?”

“Not yet. I was in such a hurry to get here that I figured I could take care of that once I was here.”

“Well, since you don’t have anything reserved yet, you will stay here with us.”

“I couldn’t impose on you like that, Renee.”

“Nonsense. It’s no imposition. You are family, Edward. Charlie wouldn’t want you staying in some lonely hotel room.” Renee started to tear up when she said Charlie’s name.

“Thank you, Renee. I’ll try to stay out of your way.”

“Edward, you won’t be in the way. Why don’t you go upstairs and see Bella. I know she’s been eagerly awaiting your arrival.”

I gave Renee another quick hug and started up the stairs. I paused to look at one of the pictures hanging on the wall. It was one of Charlie and me on my second visit. We were sitting in the back yard drinking beers and smiling. I blinked back my tears. I couldn’t believe they kept a picture of me hanging in their home.

I jumped when I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. “He was so happy that day. When we got the pictures developed, he insisted that we blow it up and frame it. Charlie refused to take it down after you and Bella broke up. He loved you like a son.” Renee handed me a tissue and continued past me up the stairs to her room and shut the door behind her. I took a deep breath and continued my journey to Bella’s room.

I lightly knocked on Bella’s door. “Bella, baby, are you awake?” I got worried when I didn’t hear an answer. I very quietly opened the door and saw Bella curled in the middle of her bed. She was awake but her eyes were red and puffy and she was staring into space. I closed the door behind me and sat next to her on the bed.

I started stroking her hair. “Baby.”

Bella looked in my eyes and jumped into my arms. “Oh, Edward. I can’t believe he’s gone,” she sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my lap.

“Shh, baby. I know. I can’t believe it either. I keep waiting for him to open your door and tell me to keep my hands in a respectable place.” She laughed and wiped her nose with a Kleenex.

“Thank you for coming here.”

“There’s no need to thank me. Nothing could’ve kept me away from Forks.”

“Is Tanya with you?” she asked hesitantly.

“No. Tanya moved out last night,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to hear that.

“I’m so sorry, Edward. It’s all my fault. I should’ve never called you.” She started sobbing again.

I pulled back and looked in her eyes. Her face was swollen and bruised on her left side. I lightly stroked her cheek. “Baby, what happened?”

“I’ve messed up everyone’s lives by calling you. You and Tanya broke up. James went crazy and attacked me. I can’t seem to do anything right.”

I tensed up at the thought of James laying a hand on my precious angel. I could see the fear in her eyes when she saw my clenched fists. Bella cupped my cheek. “Edward, please don’t worry about it.”

“What do you mean don’t worry about it? There is no reason for him to ever lay a hand on you,” I seethed.

Bella’s tears started falling again. “He’s in jail,” she whispered.

“Good. That’s where the bastard belongs.” Bella nodded and laid her head on my shoulder.

“I’m glad you called me. I wouldn’t miss being here with you for anything. It was time for us to part ways. I had never been truly happy with Tanya and that wasn’t fair to her. Right now, I’ve got the only person who can truly make me happy wrapped in arms.”

Bella tightened her hold on me. “Edward, please don’t ever let me go.”

“Never again,” I swore.

We settled into a comfortable position on her bed, and I drifted off into a blissful sleep with the love of my life wrapped safely in my arms.

Chapter 1 - EPOV

I groaned and turned away from Tanya. I just couldn't face her after having such a vivid dream about Bella. It had been five years since we broke up. Why was she starting to haunt my dreams now?

I met Bella my freshman year in college. She sat next to me in English, and I noticed her the first day of class. Her natural beauty took my breath away. Her long, mahogany hair was pulled back into a ponytail exposing her slender neck. She wasn't wearing any make up and had on a simple pair of worn jeans and an oversized tee shirt.

The first time she made eye contact with me, my heart stopped. Her deep brown eyes were beautiful and held so much emotion. Her cheeks lit up with a slight pink blush and she dropped her head back to her notes. I could see the small smile on her face from the corner of my eye. I was a head-over-heels for her from that moment on.

We spent the next few weeks getting to know each other during class. We had a lot of the same interests in music, movies, and books. I couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to her. I finally got the courage to ask her on a date at the end of that second week. She blushed and happily answered yes.

Our first date was wonderful. We went to dinner and a movie, and the conversation never lulled the entire night. I knew by the time dinner was over that what we had was special. Our relationship officially started that night.

My relationship with Bella wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. The passion between us was fierce, which meant our fights were always heated. We would end up yelling and throwing things at each other. The best part of our fights was making up. We would stay locked in our apartment for a few days wrapped in each other and our apologies.

Bella was everything to me. I loved her with every fiber of my being while we were together. I never stopped loving her. Unfortunately we came to a point in our lives when we had to go our separate ways. Graduation was quickly approaching, and job offers were pouring in for both of us from all over the country.

My 4.0 GPA had companies clamoring to hire me. My best offer came from a company called EDS in Dallas. They had the best salary, benefits, and relocation package offered. The potential for advancement was excellent too. I would've been a fool to pass the job up. My only hesitation in accepting the position was Bella.

Bella had accepted a position with Twilight Publishing, a respected publishing house in New York. Even though I didn't know where I would be after graduation, I had encouraged Bella to accept the position at Twilight. The offer was too good to pass up.

I agonized for a week over the decision to accept the job in Dallas. I didn't have any decent offers in the New York area. I couldn't take a job near Bella without feeling like I would eventually resent her for it.

I remembered the day I told her about my career decision like it was yesterday.

Five Years Earlier

Bella and I were busy packing our off campus apartment. Graduation was in a week, and our lease was up at the same time. Bella was sorting through the closet when I decided to break the news to her.

"Hey, baby?"

"Yeah."

"I accepted a job offer last week." Bella's face lit up with a breathtaking smile. I was lost in a daze when her angelic voice brought me back to reality.

"Don't keep me in suspense. Where will you be working?" Bella dropped the shirt she had just folded into the box she was packing and grabbed my hands.

I took a deep breath and slowly answered her. "I start with EDS in Dallas in two weeks."

Bella's face went blank and her arms fell limply to her side. "Dallas," she whispered.

"Yeah," I whispered back.

Bella took in a shuddering breath and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Edward, what does this mean for us? Dallas is so far away from New York."

"I know, baby. That's what has taken me so long to make this decision. I really want to be close to you, but this opportunity with EDS is too good to pass up." I pulled Bella into my arms and held on to her like my life depended on it.

"I'm glad you accepted their offer. I wouldn't want you to settle for less than the best on my account," she said solemnly.

I gently stroked her hair. "I know. I didn't want you feeling responsible if I accepted less, and I didn't want to end up resenting you in the future if I passed up the job of a lifetime to be close to you." I felt like such an asshole saying that to her, but I wanted her to know everything I was feeling.

"Thank you for being honest with me. I love you too much to have you not be happy." Bella gently kissed my cheek.

"Bella, I love you with all my heart. Now and forever. Please don't ever forget that." She sniffed and nodded her head.

"Does this mean we're over?" she choked out.

"I don't know exactly what this means. We’ll be thousands of miles apart. I don't see how we can make it work." Tears started streaming down my face before I finished my sentence.

Bella clung to me with all of her might. "Edward, you will always hold a special place in my heart. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you."

We didn't finish packing that night. We made love all night. It was our way of saying goodbye and I'll always love you.

We kept in touch through phone calls after we first moved. That only lasted about three months. We both got caught up in our new lives, and it was harder to find a time to talk that was convenient for both of us. We ended up communicating through emails regularly. I didn't like it. On the phone I could interpret her emotions and call her out on her bull shit, but she was able to hide what she really felt in her emails. Eventually, the emails dwindled down to rare occurrences. Now we only emailed to wish each other happy birthday or if something monumental happened.

I woke up the day after my trip down Bella Swan memory lane emotionally drained. Tanya, my current girlfriend, noticed my exhaustion.

"Edward, baby, what's wrong? Did you not sleep well last night?" She came up behind me, wrapped her arms around my waist, and kissed my shoulder.

"Not really. I just couldn't fall into a deep sleep. Every little sound would wake me up."

"You know, you can wake me up anytime you can't sleep. I'm more than happy to help tire you out," she purred in her Texas drawl.

"I'll remember that next time, Tanya."

I had met Tanya a little over two years ago. I went out to the House of Blues with some guys from work one night. I had been lonely and missing Bella terribly. Tyler, a guy who worked in my department, said that I needed to get out and find me a good Texas girl to take away my loneliness. I rolled my eyes and tried my best to get out of it, but Tyler was persistent. I ended up going with him and a few other guys from work.

I started out having a miserable time. Every girl I saw made me think of Bella. If it wasn't her brown hair and eyes, it was the way she laughed or blushed. I was ready to go home and wallow in my misery when Tanya ran into me, literally. She had tripped over some guy’s big ass feet and fell into my arms.

Tanya was nothing like Bella. She had blond hair, blue eyes, and was tall and statuesque. She was wearing a tight short skirt, tiny halter top, and four inch heels. She was gorgeous, but she still didn't hold a candle to Bella's beauty in my eyes. I think what caught my eye was the fact that she was the complete opposite of Bella. I didn't think I could go on a date with a woman who resembled Bella at all without screwing up and calling her Bella.

"Thanks for catching me, sweetie."

"You're more than welcome." I dropped my arms from her waist once she was steady on her feet again. I gave her a weak smile and turned to head toward the door to leave.

"Handsome, please tell me you weren't leaving." She batted her eyelashes at me.

"Yeah, you caught me on my way out."

"I was actually on my way to introduce myself when Bigfoot there almost made me become intimately acquainted with the floor. My name's Tanya."

"Sorry, but I wouldn't be very good company right now, Tanya." Her smile faltered just a little.

"Why don't you let me buy you a beer and you can tell me all about her."

"How do you know my problem is a woman?" I didn't remember whining to the guys about Bella again.

"When isn't it a woman? I'm sorry, but when a hot guy like you is miserable surrounded by this ridiculous amount of available women and still looks like his puppy was just run over, then the obvious conclusion is a woman."

"Fine, I'll have one beer with you only if you let me pay for it."

We spent the next few hours talking about college and our jobs. Tanya loved sports and cars. She could drink any man under the table and out-belch him at the same time. She was definitely the opposite of Bella. We briefly talked about Bella. Tanya simply patted my back and said that Bella was a damn fool to let me go without a fight. She pissed me off talking about Bella like that, but at the same time made me question the love Bella and I had had for each other. If we loved each other that much, how could we let something like a job keep us apart? That night I decided to stop moping over the loss of Bella and start living my life again.

Tanya and I went out a few times during the following month. I didn't think about Bella when Tanya and I were together. It was nice to live day to day and not feel overwhelmed with grief over the loss of my relationship with Bella. I was so grateful to Tanya for helping me learn to live again. After two and a half years of dating we still couldn't commit to living together, though. We spent the majority of the nights together at one of our apartments, but neither one of us was ready to give up our own place. I couldn’t even tell her that I loved her. What I felt for Tanya was nowhere near the love I felt for Bella. I just couldn't bring myself to lie to her and tell her I loved her. I cared very deeply for her, but I just couldn't get the words "I love you" out of my mouth.

Tanya was distant with me the entire day. I wasn't quite sure what was bothering her. Every time I tried to ask her what was wrong she would say nothing and blow it off. We stayed in my apartment that night because she thought maybe I would relax more and actually be able to sleep. I knew that wouldn't help. Bella's presence in my dreams would haunt me no matter where I laid my head down.

That night, Tanya tried to initiate sex, but I just wasn't in the right frame of mind for it. I didn’t feel right being intimate with her when all I could think about was Bella. I just knew I would picture her and was certain I would end up moaning her name. That was trouble I didn't need right now. Tanya got frustrated when I turned her down.

"I don't know what the hell your problem is today. It was bad enough that you blew me off and refused to talk to me about what’s bothering you. Now you won't touch me. Hell, you can't even look at me." Tanya crossed her arms in front of her chest and let out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry, Tanya. I'm just exhausted from my lack of sleep last night."

"Bull shit! Now you're lying to me. What the hell is going on between us? I can't take this much longer. You need to work out whatever is bugging you so we can get back to normal." She didn't even give me a chance to respond. She turned off her bedside lamp and lay on the bed with her back facing me.

I stretched out on my back and ran my hands through my hair a few times out of frustration. I tossed and turned for an hour before I finally fell into a fitful sleep.

I rolled over and breathed in the heavenly scent of lavender. I relished in the silky feel of her luscious, thick hair. I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to my body, nuzzling her neck with my nose.

"You smell divine, baby."

"And you feel divine my love." Her angelic voice sent shock waves down my spine. God how I'd missed that voice.

"Can we stay like this forever?" I begged.

"I wish we could."

"Please don't leave me. I'm miserable without you." I couldn't stop the sob that ripped through me.

"I don't have a choice my love. She’s waiting for you." Those beautiful brown eyes looked so sad.

"I don't care. She can wait forever. I don't want to be without you ever again." I gently trailed kisses from her shoulder up her neck ending at her ear. "Please don't leave me, baby," I breathed in her ear.

She shuddered. "You need to wake up my love. I need you."

The sound of my cell phone ringing pulled me out of another dream of Bella. I groaned and glanced to see who would be calling me at one in the morning. My eyes grew wide with shock when I saw that it was Bella calling. I quickly got out of bed and went to the living room, closing the bedroom door on my way out. I took a deep breath and answered the phone.

"Honey, why're you calling me so late? It's kinda hard to talk right now." Something was obviously wrong for her to call me at one in the morning.

"Eh-Eh-Edward," she sobbed.

"Honey, why are you crying? Is everything okay?" She was breaking my heart.

"Ch-Charlie is d-dead." That was the last thing I expected her to say.

"I'm so sorry, baby. What happened?" I asked, shocked and choking back tears.

"There was a robbery at the all night gas station, and he walked in at the wrong time. The robber shot him. The doctors said he died instantly, that he didn't suffer." She was sobbing uncontrollably. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and take away all of her hurt and sadness.

"Oh, Bella. I wish you were here now. I miss you so much. It's so good to hear your voice." I started pouring my heart out to her and couldn't stop.

"I miss you too, Edward. I dreamed about you the last few nights." She was whispering so low I could barely hear her.

"I've dreamt of you too, baby. Not having you there when I wake up has been torture." I heard another sob come though the phone. "Bella, baby, where's James? Does he know you're talking to me?"

"N-no, he doesn't. He would go ballistic if he knew. Luckily he's dead to the world right now."

"Did you tell him about Charlie?"

"I t-tried. He said Charlie will still be dead in the morning, so let him sleep and he'll talk with me about it then."

What the fuck?! "Bella, what the hell are you still doing with that douche?"

"Edward, I honestly don't know. How could he be so cold about my f-father d-dying?" She broke down sobbing hysterically.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. Do you guys live together?"

"N-no." Her tears were starting to subside again.

"I hate to see you so miserable. After his reaction to this, please take a second look at your relationship. If he can't be there for you at a time like this, then he is not worthy of you." I couldn't believe she was dating a man who could be that cold.

She sighed. "I've been considering calling it quits for the last few weeks. He's been so distant and loses his temper at the drop of a hat. I just can't take it anymore. Tonight was the last straw." She started sniffling again before the sobbing started up again.

"Baby, do you think you will be okay until tomorrow?"

"I think so. Mom booked me a flight for tomorrow morning. I'll be in Forks by two in the afternoon."

"Good. I'll book the first flight I can get and be there before you know it."

"Edward," she breathed. God, it sounded so good to hear her say my name again. "You don't have to do that. I know you have a job and Tanya. You can't just drop everything to comfort me."

"Bella, I can and will drop everything. I have bereavement leave, and Tanya is a big girl. She will be fine without me. I meant it when I said I would love you forever. You drop everything to be there and comfort someone you love." I heard a gasp and turned to see tears streaming down Tanya's face. She turned abruptly and slammed my bedroom door. Oh shit!