Chapter 1 - EPOV

I groaned and turned away from Tanya. I just couldn't face her after having such a vivid dream about Bella. It had been five years since we broke up. Why was she starting to haunt my dreams now?

I met Bella my freshman year in college. She sat next to me in English, and I noticed her the first day of class. Her natural beauty took my breath away. Her long, mahogany hair was pulled back into a ponytail exposing her slender neck. She wasn't wearing any make up and had on a simple pair of worn jeans and an oversized tee shirt.

The first time she made eye contact with me, my heart stopped. Her deep brown eyes were beautiful and held so much emotion. Her cheeks lit up with a slight pink blush and she dropped her head back to her notes. I could see the small smile on her face from the corner of my eye. I was a head-over-heels for her from that moment on.

We spent the next few weeks getting to know each other during class. We had a lot of the same interests in music, movies, and books. I couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to her. I finally got the courage to ask her on a date at the end of that second week. She blushed and happily answered yes.

Our first date was wonderful. We went to dinner and a movie, and the conversation never lulled the entire night. I knew by the time dinner was over that what we had was special. Our relationship officially started that night.

My relationship with Bella wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. The passion between us was fierce, which meant our fights were always heated. We would end up yelling and throwing things at each other. The best part of our fights was making up. We would stay locked in our apartment for a few days wrapped in each other and our apologies.

Bella was everything to me. I loved her with every fiber of my being while we were together. I never stopped loving her. Unfortunately we came to a point in our lives when we had to go our separate ways. Graduation was quickly approaching, and job offers were pouring in for both of us from all over the country.

My 4.0 GPA had companies clamoring to hire me. My best offer came from a company called EDS in Dallas. They had the best salary, benefits, and relocation package offered. The potential for advancement was excellent too. I would've been a fool to pass the job up. My only hesitation in accepting the position was Bella.

Bella had accepted a position with Twilight Publishing, a respected publishing house in New York. Even though I didn't know where I would be after graduation, I had encouraged Bella to accept the position at Twilight. The offer was too good to pass up.

I agonized for a week over the decision to accept the job in Dallas. I didn't have any decent offers in the New York area. I couldn't take a job near Bella without feeling like I would eventually resent her for it.

I remembered the day I told her about my career decision like it was yesterday.

Five Years Earlier

Bella and I were busy packing our off campus apartment. Graduation was in a week, and our lease was up at the same time. Bella was sorting through the closet when I decided to break the news to her.

"Hey, baby?"

"Yeah."

"I accepted a job offer last week." Bella's face lit up with a breathtaking smile. I was lost in a daze when her angelic voice brought me back to reality.

"Don't keep me in suspense. Where will you be working?" Bella dropped the shirt she had just folded into the box she was packing and grabbed my hands.

I took a deep breath and slowly answered her. "I start with EDS in Dallas in two weeks."

Bella's face went blank and her arms fell limply to her side. "Dallas," she whispered.

"Yeah," I whispered back.

Bella took in a shuddering breath and a tear rolled down her cheek. "Edward, what does this mean for us? Dallas is so far away from New York."

"I know, baby. That's what has taken me so long to make this decision. I really want to be close to you, but this opportunity with EDS is too good to pass up." I pulled Bella into my arms and held on to her like my life depended on it.

"I'm glad you accepted their offer. I wouldn't want you to settle for less than the best on my account," she said solemnly.

I gently stroked her hair. "I know. I didn't want you feeling responsible if I accepted less, and I didn't want to end up resenting you in the future if I passed up the job of a lifetime to be close to you." I felt like such an asshole saying that to her, but I wanted her to know everything I was feeling.

"Thank you for being honest with me. I love you too much to have you not be happy." Bella gently kissed my cheek.

"Bella, I love you with all my heart. Now and forever. Please don't ever forget that." She sniffed and nodded her head.

"Does this mean we're over?" she choked out.

"I don't know exactly what this means. We’ll be thousands of miles apart. I don't see how we can make it work." Tears started streaming down my face before I finished my sentence.

Bella clung to me with all of her might. "Edward, you will always hold a special place in my heart. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you."

We didn't finish packing that night. We made love all night. It was our way of saying goodbye and I'll always love you.

We kept in touch through phone calls after we first moved. That only lasted about three months. We both got caught up in our new lives, and it was harder to find a time to talk that was convenient for both of us. We ended up communicating through emails regularly. I didn't like it. On the phone I could interpret her emotions and call her out on her bull shit, but she was able to hide what she really felt in her emails. Eventually, the emails dwindled down to rare occurrences. Now we only emailed to wish each other happy birthday or if something monumental happened.

I woke up the day after my trip down Bella Swan memory lane emotionally drained. Tanya, my current girlfriend, noticed my exhaustion.

"Edward, baby, what's wrong? Did you not sleep well last night?" She came up behind me, wrapped her arms around my waist, and kissed my shoulder.

"Not really. I just couldn't fall into a deep sleep. Every little sound would wake me up."

"You know, you can wake me up anytime you can't sleep. I'm more than happy to help tire you out," she purred in her Texas drawl.

"I'll remember that next time, Tanya."

I had met Tanya a little over two years ago. I went out to the House of Blues with some guys from work one night. I had been lonely and missing Bella terribly. Tyler, a guy who worked in my department, said that I needed to get out and find me a good Texas girl to take away my loneliness. I rolled my eyes and tried my best to get out of it, but Tyler was persistent. I ended up going with him and a few other guys from work.

I started out having a miserable time. Every girl I saw made me think of Bella. If it wasn't her brown hair and eyes, it was the way she laughed or blushed. I was ready to go home and wallow in my misery when Tanya ran into me, literally. She had tripped over some guy’s big ass feet and fell into my arms.

Tanya was nothing like Bella. She had blond hair, blue eyes, and was tall and statuesque. She was wearing a tight short skirt, tiny halter top, and four inch heels. She was gorgeous, but she still didn't hold a candle to Bella's beauty in my eyes. I think what caught my eye was the fact that she was the complete opposite of Bella. I didn't think I could go on a date with a woman who resembled Bella at all without screwing up and calling her Bella.

"Thanks for catching me, sweetie."

"You're more than welcome." I dropped my arms from her waist once she was steady on her feet again. I gave her a weak smile and turned to head toward the door to leave.

"Handsome, please tell me you weren't leaving." She batted her eyelashes at me.

"Yeah, you caught me on my way out."

"I was actually on my way to introduce myself when Bigfoot there almost made me become intimately acquainted with the floor. My name's Tanya."

"Sorry, but I wouldn't be very good company right now, Tanya." Her smile faltered just a little.

"Why don't you let me buy you a beer and you can tell me all about her."

"How do you know my problem is a woman?" I didn't remember whining to the guys about Bella again.

"When isn't it a woman? I'm sorry, but when a hot guy like you is miserable surrounded by this ridiculous amount of available women and still looks like his puppy was just run over, then the obvious conclusion is a woman."

"Fine, I'll have one beer with you only if you let me pay for it."

We spent the next few hours talking about college and our jobs. Tanya loved sports and cars. She could drink any man under the table and out-belch him at the same time. She was definitely the opposite of Bella. We briefly talked about Bella. Tanya simply patted my back and said that Bella was a damn fool to let me go without a fight. She pissed me off talking about Bella like that, but at the same time made me question the love Bella and I had had for each other. If we loved each other that much, how could we let something like a job keep us apart? That night I decided to stop moping over the loss of Bella and start living my life again.

Tanya and I went out a few times during the following month. I didn't think about Bella when Tanya and I were together. It was nice to live day to day and not feel overwhelmed with grief over the loss of my relationship with Bella. I was so grateful to Tanya for helping me learn to live again. After two and a half years of dating we still couldn't commit to living together, though. We spent the majority of the nights together at one of our apartments, but neither one of us was ready to give up our own place. I couldn’t even tell her that I loved her. What I felt for Tanya was nowhere near the love I felt for Bella. I just couldn't bring myself to lie to her and tell her I loved her. I cared very deeply for her, but I just couldn't get the words "I love you" out of my mouth.

Tanya was distant with me the entire day. I wasn't quite sure what was bothering her. Every time I tried to ask her what was wrong she would say nothing and blow it off. We stayed in my apartment that night because she thought maybe I would relax more and actually be able to sleep. I knew that wouldn't help. Bella's presence in my dreams would haunt me no matter where I laid my head down.

That night, Tanya tried to initiate sex, but I just wasn't in the right frame of mind for it. I didn’t feel right being intimate with her when all I could think about was Bella. I just knew I would picture her and was certain I would end up moaning her name. That was trouble I didn't need right now. Tanya got frustrated when I turned her down.

"I don't know what the hell your problem is today. It was bad enough that you blew me off and refused to talk to me about what’s bothering you. Now you won't touch me. Hell, you can't even look at me." Tanya crossed her arms in front of her chest and let out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry, Tanya. I'm just exhausted from my lack of sleep last night."

"Bull shit! Now you're lying to me. What the hell is going on between us? I can't take this much longer. You need to work out whatever is bugging you so we can get back to normal." She didn't even give me a chance to respond. She turned off her bedside lamp and lay on the bed with her back facing me.

I stretched out on my back and ran my hands through my hair a few times out of frustration. I tossed and turned for an hour before I finally fell into a fitful sleep.

I rolled over and breathed in the heavenly scent of lavender. I relished in the silky feel of her luscious, thick hair. I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to my body, nuzzling her neck with my nose.

"You smell divine, baby."

"And you feel divine my love." Her angelic voice sent shock waves down my spine. God how I'd missed that voice.

"Can we stay like this forever?" I begged.

"I wish we could."

"Please don't leave me. I'm miserable without you." I couldn't stop the sob that ripped through me.

"I don't have a choice my love. She’s waiting for you." Those beautiful brown eyes looked so sad.

"I don't care. She can wait forever. I don't want to be without you ever again." I gently trailed kisses from her shoulder up her neck ending at her ear. "Please don't leave me, baby," I breathed in her ear.

She shuddered. "You need to wake up my love. I need you."

The sound of my cell phone ringing pulled me out of another dream of Bella. I groaned and glanced to see who would be calling me at one in the morning. My eyes grew wide with shock when I saw that it was Bella calling. I quickly got out of bed and went to the living room, closing the bedroom door on my way out. I took a deep breath and answered the phone.

"Honey, why're you calling me so late? It's kinda hard to talk right now." Something was obviously wrong for her to call me at one in the morning.

"Eh-Eh-Edward," she sobbed.

"Honey, why are you crying? Is everything okay?" She was breaking my heart.

"Ch-Charlie is d-dead." That was the last thing I expected her to say.

"I'm so sorry, baby. What happened?" I asked, shocked and choking back tears.

"There was a robbery at the all night gas station, and he walked in at the wrong time. The robber shot him. The doctors said he died instantly, that he didn't suffer." She was sobbing uncontrollably. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and take away all of her hurt and sadness.

"Oh, Bella. I wish you were here now. I miss you so much. It's so good to hear your voice." I started pouring my heart out to her and couldn't stop.

"I miss you too, Edward. I dreamed about you the last few nights." She was whispering so low I could barely hear her.

"I've dreamt of you too, baby. Not having you there when I wake up has been torture." I heard another sob come though the phone. "Bella, baby, where's James? Does he know you're talking to me?"

"N-no, he doesn't. He would go ballistic if he knew. Luckily he's dead to the world right now."

"Did you tell him about Charlie?"

"I t-tried. He said Charlie will still be dead in the morning, so let him sleep and he'll talk with me about it then."

What the fuck?! "Bella, what the hell are you still doing with that douche?"

"Edward, I honestly don't know. How could he be so cold about my f-father d-dying?" She broke down sobbing hysterically.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. Do you guys live together?"

"N-no." Her tears were starting to subside again.

"I hate to see you so miserable. After his reaction to this, please take a second look at your relationship. If he can't be there for you at a time like this, then he is not worthy of you." I couldn't believe she was dating a man who could be that cold.

She sighed. "I've been considering calling it quits for the last few weeks. He's been so distant and loses his temper at the drop of a hat. I just can't take it anymore. Tonight was the last straw." She started sniffling again before the sobbing started up again.

"Baby, do you think you will be okay until tomorrow?"

"I think so. Mom booked me a flight for tomorrow morning. I'll be in Forks by two in the afternoon."

"Good. I'll book the first flight I can get and be there before you know it."

"Edward," she breathed. God, it sounded so good to hear her say my name again. "You don't have to do that. I know you have a job and Tanya. You can't just drop everything to comfort me."

"Bella, I can and will drop everything. I have bereavement leave, and Tanya is a big girl. She will be fine without me. I meant it when I said I would love you forever. You drop everything to be there and comfort someone you love." I heard a gasp and turned to see tears streaming down Tanya's face. She turned abruptly and slammed my bedroom door. Oh shit!